Bengali Wedding Customs
As a "Bedeshi" (Westerner) who recently moved to South Asia, I have a lot to learn about Bengali wedding traditions. My family and I had the privilege of attending weddings of three religious traditions: Christian, Hindu, and Muslim. All three were joyous occasions as demonstrated by the photos I have included below. Our experience attending three different weddings this year highlighted a plethora of deep significant rituals and customs. In this post, rather than describe every nuance of a marriage celebration in Bangladesh, I hope to provide a glimpse into the richness and beauty of the Bengali wedding. Please enjoy the photos and window into this beautiful culture which reflects its imaginative Creator in so many ways!
Perhaps the first thing to highlight is the importance and involvement of the family in the couple's relationship. Marriage is not just the sacred union of two individuals, but the alliance of two families. In fact, often the bride and groom are chosen by the family even in modern urban families.The couple's familial relationships dictate much of their choices and these relationships are honored in the wedding festivities.
Gaye Holud literally "yellowing of the body", is one of the marriage elements and comprises a ceremony before the wedding. Both families attend and the bride is decorated with turmeric paste made from grinding fresh turmeric with mustard oil. Mendi and much dancing to Bollywood music is commonly performed. (This was my children's favorite part by far!) During the celebration, guests are treated to delicious sweets like traditional pithas (rice cakes) and finger foods.
A Bengali wedding is called a "Beeyay" and is a wonderful feast for the eyes. It actually occurs after the official wedding ceremony called the "niqah" which usually happens at the bride's house. Weddings here are celebrations of color, community and artistry. Vivid attire is worn showcasing the creativity and beauty of the South Asian continent. The groom typically wears a turban often inherited from his father for good luck. Once the groom has been blessed by his family, he and his entourage will travel to the wedding celebration. Sometimes, the groom even arrives by horse or elephant! While the groom's punjabi and turban are impressive sights, the bride wears one of the most regal and elegant outfits of any bride in the world, transforming her into a goddess. A red benarasi saree embroidered with gold zari threads is usually chosen and a stunning matching headgear provides the creative finishing touches. Throughout the wedding, the guests can take pictures with the bride and groom to memorialize this wonderful celebration! While the bride and groom are busy having their pictures taken with guests, the guests are treated to a feast of Bengali foods like rice, beef, chicken korma, biriani, goat meat and much more! More dancing continues often until daybreak when the bride and groom finally leave for the bride's family's home where they will spend the first night or two.
Obviously, the brief descriptions I have detailed here only capture a small piece of the depth of Bengali weddings. However, I hope that these glimpses give you some idea of the joys of living in this rich culture.
